Approaching a Loved One About an Eating Disorder: 3 Helpful Tips

Some conversations are difficult, no matter how much effort we put into making them easier. However, there are ways to express concern that avoid causing shame or pain in our loved ones.

Nearly 9% of Americans will experience an eating disorder at some point in their lives. Contrary to popular belief, eating disorders are not always a method of controlling weight, although they can be.

Sometimes, they’re expressions of trying to achieve some control over life through control of food. Other times, they’re a way to regulate painful emotions through food.

Talking to your loved one about the possibility of an eating disorder can be difficult, regardless of their intent, but it is possible to approach the conversation in a way that minimizes emotional pain. Our experts at VP MindCare share three ways to approach a loved one about the subject.

1. Create a safe space for your loved one

Safe places aren’t always private rooms or favorite spots, though sometimes they can be. They also involve meaningful connections with others, where feeling heard, supported, and loved is key.

Hard conversations become easier when there isn’t any fear of judgment or ongoing conflict between the two parties. When your loved one knows they can trust you not to react negatively when they share their imperfections, they are more likely to engage in a vulnerable and authentic way with you.

2. Show concern from an emotionally regulated place

Some believe that a strong display of emotions can motivate people to act, but it might actually scare them instead. They may also learn to conceal their pain more effectively to avoid provoking strong emotional reactions.

If you suspect a loved one is suffering from an eating disorder, take some time to regulate yourself first. Write in a diary, speak with a friend, and invest in your own emotional regulation and sense of calm, so you can be there for your loved one in a way that feels comfortable to them.

3. Ask if they need any assistance with something specific

Sometimes, the most effective way to help someone isn't by immediately removing their symptoms but by supporting them as they confront their own pain, if they choose to accept support.

They might decide to take action regarding their symptoms, but until then, you can support them in non-coercive ways, such as helping with cleaning or asking them out after they've chosen to self-isolate.

Learn how to help loved ones with eating disorders

One of the first steps you can take to help someone is to learn more about eating disorders and how they manifest. The second step is to seek support for yourself if seeing someone you love is taking a toll on your own mental health. Lastly, know that when your loved one is ready, help is available.

Our team, with offices located in Anchorage, Alaska, and Lexington, Kentucky, offers evaluations, counseling, and medication management for eating disorders. Contact us to schedule an appointment to learn more about how we can help.