Grief and the Holidays: How to Cope When You’re Not Feeling Merry

If you’re experiencing holiday blues, you aren’t alone. According to surveys, about 41% of Americans feel their stress levels rise during the holidays. Some bring up loneliness or financial stress, while others mention feeling the pressure of competing with others.

Others mention grief as well. The holidays often bring up a lot of memories with our loved ones. If you feel the absence of someone you love or simply experience grief as a consequence of a break up, poor relationships or loneliness, read on as our experts at VP MindCare share some tips on how to navigate these difficult times.

It’s okay to ask yourself what would make you feel comfortable

During the holidays, things may move in a predetermined direction. For some, it is buying gifts followed by time with family and friends, for others, it might be caroling. If you aren’t feeling the holiday spirit, it’s alright to say no to activities that would otherwise feel like too much of an effort. Be honest about the things that would still bring you joy and the ones that take too much energy.

Surround yourself with people who can listen and empathize

Not everyone has a strong support network, but if you do and feel safe to reach out, receiving support could help soothe your nervous system. If your support network isn’t available, speaking to a therapist in a safe space or participating in 12-step meetings focused on grief can also be helpful. Professionals don’t lead these meetings; they’re places where people go to share their burdens and empathize with others.

Take things one day at a time

When you’re grieving, thinking about the entire holiday season can feel like too much. Instead of trying to plan everything or force yourself into a certain mindset, bring your focus back to what you need in the next few hours. Small, manageable steps are often kinder to your nervous system than big expectations.

Create new rituals that feel gentle and grounding

Certain holiday traditions might feel too heavy this year, and that’s okay. You don’t have to recreate the past. Instead, choose small rituals that meet you where you are emotionally. This can be something as simple as lighting a candle, making a warm drink, journaling for five minutes, or watching a comforting show. The goal isn’t to feel festive, but to feel supported.

Escape the spiral of grief

The holidays can be particularly triggering, but you don’t have to go through them alone. Our experts offer psychotherapy and counseling to provide support during the holidays and beyond. If you feel overwhelmed by grief and sadness, know there’s always the option to receive help, and you don’t have to walk this path alone.

You can benefit from our services by contacting us to schedule an appointment in our office located in Anchorage, Alaska. Telehealth options are also available.