Navigating Holiday Gatherings: 7 Tips for Managing Social Anxiety

We all feel fear of criticism and even ridicule sometimes. Giving an important presentation or meeting someone new on a date can make us feel slightly anxious or even insecure.

However, when fear becomes a constant companion, and the fear of being judged or evaluated negatively by others prevents us from enjoying the present moment, meeting new people, or staying in touch with old friends, it could be a sign of social anxiety.

Social anxiety can also cause physical symptoms, including a racing heart, sweating, trembling, blushing, or nausea.

With the holiday season and upcoming gatherings, many feel the pressure to “perform” and do well at these events. If you suspect social anxiety might be something you’re struggling with, read on as our experts at VP MindCare share seven tips to navigate family gatherings with ease.

1. Leave room for imperfection

One of the biggest fears with social anxiety is the fear of making mistakes or being perceived as awkward or not entertaining enough. The reality is that people make mistakes all the time, say unfunny things, and sometimes things do feel uncomfortable. 

Instead of planning exactly how to behave or what to say to ensure everything goes perfectly, try to remember situations when others acted imperfectly and the outcome wasn’t disastrous. 

Perhaps you have experienced that too, saying something less than perfect yet not suffering any real negative consequence because of it.

2. Learn the difference between distorted thinking and objective evidence

When you’re trapped in a fight-or-flight response for a prolonged period, it becomes harder to distinguish between real and perceived threats. Many factors can trigger this response, including past negative experiences (trauma, bullying, etc.) or an overactive amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for the fear response. 

When you fear appearing less than perfect in front of a group, ask yourself if there is objective evidence behind this fear. Have they actually given you reasons to believe they will judge you harshly?

3. Focus on connection, not performance

Instead of trying to impress others, aim to connect. Listen with curiosity, ask questions, and share small, genuine parts of yourself. Most people are focused on themselves, not analyzing you. Shifting from performance to presence soothes the nervous system and helps you realize you can feel safe without overanalyzing how you appear.

4. Surround yourself with people who make you feel safe

Part of calming the nervous system is learning to distinguish real from perceived danger. Some people may tend to be critical or negative, but remember that you have a choice. 

You are not obligated to attend gatherings filled with conflict, criticism, or emotional tension.

5. Limit alcohol and caffeine

It can be tempting to use alcohol to loosen up or rely on coffee for an energy boost, but both can increase anxiety, even if they seem to help at first. Alcohol may initially relax you, but it can heighten negative emotions, while caffeine may raise energy levels but also increases stress hormones in your body.

6. Practice grounding techniques

Grounding exercises help calm your nervous system in the moment by reminding you of where you are and what is actually happening, instead of what your mind is predicting. Focus on the feeling of your feet on the ground, notice smells, or observe the colors around you. These are simple yet effective ways to break the loop of negative thinking.

7. Speak to someone you trust

Sharing your feelings with a trusted person — whether a close friend, therapist, or support group — can be incredibly healing. Talking about your anxiety not only reduces isolation but also shows you that others can be safe presences, not just sources of criticism.

Learn more about managing your social anxiety

Anxiety can be isolating, but you don’t have to face it alone. Our team of experts offers evaluations, medication management when needed, and referrals to therapists, either in person or virtually, who can help you build coping skills and gain confidence in social situations.

Want some help navigating the holidays this year? Contact us to schedule an appointment at our office in Anchorage, Alaska, and receive support on your mental health journey.